ABOUT THE ARTIST

Typically, I write about other artists and their artwork. I love curating and sharing art and ideas. Recently, I was reviewing all of the posts that I have made so far on Entheo Zine. Upon review I realized that I have never once shared what I do. I have never shared MY passions or what drives me. How can my growing audience of readers really understand the intention of this creation of mine, if they don't know me?

Me, with prints and a sketch from Gabriel Roberts

That is when I had an epiphany. Radical open sharing. Beginning with this post. My posts before this seemed rather mechanical, and while the content was good (the artists always are good), there is not enough ME in the posts. So, let me tell you my story.

My story is rather typical of a small town artist. I have always enjoyed and excelled in art and writing. Throughout High School I had taken advanced placement art, theater, english and writing courses. My art was recognized and put up in the town hall, and in a special art show at the local small town high school. I got some random achievement award for some random poem I wrote about the universe. Through all of this, I was hardly passing math and PE, and began getting in trouble out of school.

My home life at the time was not ideal. My mom had began to date toxic men who beat her and/or were drug addicts. My mom was also very strict, which meant I couldn't really leave the house as much as I would have liked. As a high school age teenager, this was hard. Back then, I used art and writing as an escape and as an emotional response to what was going on around me. In my room, I had piles of notebooks, art supplies, and books for inspiration. My room was my refuge. Back then, some of my best work was triggered by emotional turmoil. I once took a small plaster angel and smothered it in black and red nail polish and wrapped it in painting tape and labeled it "this is how I feel". Like someone would get that. It wasn't a bad peice, but I ended up getting it thrown out. Most of my art stemmed from these awkward terrible feelings back then.

"Alchemists Hand", 2015
Pen and Ink on Archival Paper

 After High School I took a year off, and began working some local retail jobs. I thought I could I could save for Art School if I worked. I really needed a reality check back then. I learned that retail jobs that pay minimum wage DO NOT make enough to save for school. I think after taxes, I took home about $100.00 a week. During this year off I also visited my High School for guidence for art school and getting in to one. I was having trouble navigating the process, but the High School helped. That year, after much work and deliberation, I finally got accepted in to art school. 

I was accepted to The Art Institute of Boston at Lesley University. This art school was a glorious, beautiful art school affiliated with one of the finest liberal arts Universities in Boston. The main building was right in Kenmore Square. My dorm was smack dab in the middle of Back Bay. Staying in Boston in this location was amazing and ideal. I think I initially went to art school just to move out of my parents apartment (which is an awful reason to go to college), and also, be able to hone my art skills. Art School was a HUGE reality check. In my small town, I was considered a "great artist". You leave your little po dunk town and travel to a place where great artists go to further themselves, and you are going to see some impressive amature artists. That is exactly what I saw. My college roomie was an incredible artist. She was a terrible person, but a great artist. She was pretentious. She was a bloviating gossiping terrible person though. Toward the end, we couldn't get along.

"Karma", 2014
Oil on Canvas 

As far as Art School being a reality check, I wasn't ready. I was not ready for school or the "real world" associated with it. College means being ready to learn. It means dropping that fragile little pathetic ego, and soaking up all you can in that limited time that you have. It means being able to work, do schoolwork, and handle real life at literally the same time. At 19, I had no idea how to do this. I had no skills. I had no license or car. In Boston, I couldn't even find a part time job. No one wanted to hire the scrubby little 19 year old goth chick who didn't know her ass from her elbow. Looking back, I probably wouldn't have hired me either. Another way Art School was a reality check, was that it exposed me to all the things that I could do. It exposed me to great, inspiring people who were amazing and I could bounce ideas off of. It also exposed me to the glory of the city. Boston is an amazing "little big town", with a great nightlife, and always something to do. As a very young person with on and off jobs and money, therein lay one of my debacles. I learned to prioritize very quickly. Especially when art supplies or medicine is needed.

Art school itself was very challenging. It was nothing like the AP courses in High School. I quickly learned that I had much to learn. Painting, perspective, shades, values, figure drawing, still lives...I was bombarded with so much great classical techniques. And it really was hard, tedious work. No one ever said art school was going to be easy. I learned much in the year that I attended.  My figure drawing teacher had pointed out how fucked up my perspective was. I took the critique personally. I shouldn't have. Now, as a more mature person who has looked at thier own art from an outside perspective, I can actually see it. I always wondered if my point of view was more than me not understanding space relationships. If it was like a metaphor for my point of view in general. There was one particular drawing session that I remember that we had odd looking models that had one particular flaw that stood out to me. In my drawings the flaws were grossly exagerated. The models, my classmates and my figure drawing teacher were like, "Why did you exagerate these parts of these people?". I had no answer. But, the answer was I fixated on that aspect of those people. The next memorable lesson I had in art school, was in painting. This was painting 101, so it was both oils and acrylics. Acrylics was the whole first half of the year. We had to paint paint chips that showed progression of shades and values. We had to define color. (How abstract is that??). Once we were in the second half of the year, we had to choose a scene from a book or something to paint as a final. I chose a scene out of my Crow graphic novel, and I wanted it to be purple and black mainly. I was struggling with this project, and my painting teacher told me "draw with the paint". It literally took me 10 years after that lesson to fully grasp that concept.

"Aya Vibes", 2014
Oil on Canvas 

Long story short, I dropped out of Art School after one year. Two semester. What I didn't know after I dropped out was that I was instantly responsible for all that debt for that year. I think I had to pay $25,000 all together..looking back, that's not bad considering how much it could have been and how much I owe now. I was back in Smalltown USA, working my retail jobs, I was saving to move. I was paying my debts. I actually moved out, and in to a friends house in 2004 after one more year at home. I couldn't stay at home anymore. I had stayed at my friends house for about six months. After that I moved to where I am now. I didn't even have my own bed. I had a work friend drive me over to Wal-Mart one pay day so I could pick up a $100.00 futon. I began blogging on a regular basis after I moved out. My first blog was a personal blog I kept on blogger. I basically used my blog like I use social media now. To post everyday thoughts and pictures of my life.

Fast forward four more years. I have a more stable job. My apartment is fine. I get comfortable. I began creating on and off while working, but for the most part I worked. I worked at Jiffy Lube. It was interesting to say the least.  Most of days consisted of work and sleep. Manual labor is not for the weak. During this time, I was dabbling more back in to art, and did more blogging. I think I had a Myspace until 2008. I met a number of great artists online on social media. From 2008 on I began more social media networking. My blog had morphed from a personal blog, to a poetry blog, then to a political blog. Fast forward a few more years, I begin working in more "professional" jobs. Mostly administrative positions. Then in 2010, I decided to return to college. To business school, of all things. My boyfriend helped initiate the process in getting me back to school. I think I took business because it was safe and practical. In 2011, the Occupy Movement began. I began attending Occupy Boston everyday after work. I did art for Occupy, and I also began blogging on examiner, as the Boston Local Political Examiner. I always had an interest in politics, so political blogging was something I enjoyed. I also networked online and in real life through Occupy. I met a number of inspiring artists/activists through Facebook friendbombs and real life meet ups.

During this time, I had met people online who were in to Visionary art and were part of the transformational culture surrouding it. I helped admin some facebook pages and groups about the art and culture, and was hooked. I met some really great people online who were amazing artists, writers, musicians, and thought leaders in the transformational movement.  I really love Visionary art. I see Visionary art as the most fringe, one the cusp art. Visionary art is literally the trancendental vision you have, and share. Not all art is transcendental. Visionary art is seeing beyond what has been done, and pushing the envelope. Exploring visions that have not yet been explored. The vision that I have seen in visionary art is the inspiration for this blog. Visionary art doesn't get much notice in the mainstream media. My vision for this blog is not only to expose great artists to people, but also to support Visionary art. I started this blog shortly after I really began diving back in to art. I really started creating on a regular basis in 2014. I made a number of pen and ink works, as well as paint pens paintings. These were really my first attempt at Visionary art. As time progressed I found myself more drawn to the abstract visionary art. The swirling, portal filled, 3D shapes in space abstract. This is they type of art I am working on now. The abstract.

I really enjoy collecting art as well as creating it. Supporting the Visionary art community is very important to me. Some random facts about me:

- I enjoy gourmet food. Cooking and eating it. I've been known to expirement with exotic ingredients and techniques. I worked at a culinary school for four years and it was very eye opening.
- You can still find my old political blogs on examiner.
- I have a very eclectic taste in music
- I live to travel. I haven't done much yet, but its in the cards.
- I have a shop on etsy. I plan on creating jewlery and selling prints of my work in it. I also may sell ritual items. I need feedback.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I see all my failures as stepping stones to where I am today. And where am I? I am creating. I am writing, and I am living. I am growing. I am learning. This blog is not only a forum of art from other artists, it is a alchemistic catalyst of creation of my art. These posts art my writing. And I am eternally grateful that you all take the time to read this, and to look at the art and music and videos that I share. To look at the part of me that I share.

THANK YOU.